Dearest friends and family and random internet weirdos, Happy New Year! May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
As many of you are no doubt aware, it is a New Year’s tradition here in Spain to stay at home till midnight and at midnight people eat twelve grapes, one at each stroke of the clock. After the clock has finished striking twelve, people greet each other (usually with a mouth full of grapes) and toast with cava. This is supposed to bring good luck and happiness in the New Year. This year we rang in the New Year at Rachel and Jonathan’s house. Emily was sleeping in a quiet room while everyone else was gathering around the TV for the midnight countdown. But instead of turning the TV on to see how much time was officially left before everyone could start downing their preprepared grapes and cava, Jonathan mistakenly unplugs the cable box and can’t figure out how to get the TV back on. Some watches in the room showed three minutes before midnight while others showed just one minute left! Just then, Emily wakes up and demands (in no uncertain terms) to be fed. Jan runs out of the room with her glass of cava while Jonathan continues to struggle with the cable box. Jan comes back into the room with Emily firmly attached to her boob just as the TV comes on and we hear the official clock already chiming. Everyone rushes for their grapes and starts downing them with each stroke of the clock – but we didn’t know if we had started with the first chime or somewhere in the middle. Since Jan was occupied with feeding Emily, I had to eat my own grapes and feed her at the same time – so I was dishing out two grapes per second – not as easy as it sounds. After about eight chimes, everyone on the TV starts cheering and singing to signal the New Year so we all jam the rest of the grapes in our mouths and quickly toast and drink the cava. I successfully drink from my glass while pouring Jan’s into her mouth at the same time. She, unfortunately, hasn’t mastered the art of drinking with a mouthful of grapes and her cava proceeds to pour down her face and all over her exposed boob before ending up on Emily’s lips and thus provide what Emily (and certain observers in the room) stated to be the best New Year’s ever.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
(And never close His fist too tight)
Happy New Year