After reading the article I thought of how I can use this even today, with no children of my own. I thought about how I talk to Debra, my reading student. Raising her self esteem is actually 80% of my job. The reading just comes naturally after that. I never tell her she’s smart (because she’s not) but I always thank her for trying so hard. And for her persistence in figuring out a difficult task.

I also applied it to how I talk to Jonathan. He’s an amazingly talented digital graphic artist. I went to his house last night and watched him work on a web site design. But rather than tell him how “talented” he is I told him how I admired his perseverance is working on the design until it’s just right. I told him how I admired that he’s a self starter and continues to learn about the technical side of the industry. I think praising his actions over his innate ability is so much more productive and would inspire him to work harder. Don’t tell him he’s my little science project too. )

I found it particularly interesting because none of us ever blamed anyone but ourselves – “I got to college and didn’t know how to study because I never tried before.” Or “she went through the depression because she had never learned how to work hard at something.” Thanks for the new spin.