Instead of writing an in depth summary of what Emily has been up to, I’d just like everyone to know that I’m having a ball with her recently. She really is so much fun to hang around with. I fell asleep on the floor this morning and was woken up by Emily jumping on my back and riding me like a horse. Whether we’re in the living room, in the park, walking on the street, or just riding up in the elevator, she’s such a positive force in my life and she makes me smile just thinking about her. I’ll try and add some photos or videos sometime soon for all of you who don’t get to see her too often, but I honestly haven’t been carrying my camera with me for the longest time now. I guess I should change that.

I bought myself a new computer a while back and never got rid of my old one. It’s been sitting in a box in the office trying not to be noticed. It’s time to get rid of it. I would pass the whole thing on to someone but it wasn’t completely reliable (hence the purchase of the new one). I narrowed the search for the problem down to two suspects: the motherboard and the processor. Other than those two pieces, the rest of the computer is reliable and fantastic and it would be a shame to recycle it. So, if anyone is interested in any of the following computer parts, just let me know and they’re yours. Absolutely free! And that’s free as in beer, not as in speech. First come first serve…

Two Maxtor DiamondMax 7200 RPM IDE Ultra ATA133 Hard Drives (one 80 GB and one 160 GB)
Bought new, these puppies would cost you 50 and 60 euros, respectively.
Are you quickly running out of space now that your mp3 collection has spread like the plague since you discovered that new BitTorrent client? Maybe the videos of your kid are taking up 95% of your current hard drive and you don’t have any space left to download the newest season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Or maybe you just want an extra internal hard drive to back up all the stuff you’ve already got. Sounds like you need a new hard drive.
Just make sure: your computer can use IDE hard drives and you’ve got an open connector on your current IDE cable or an open slot to add a new IDE cable on your motherboard.

Two sticks of Kingston ValueRAM 512MB 184-Pin DDR SDRAM DDR 333 (PC 2700) Desktop Memory
I’m pretty sure you can pick these up new for about 25 euros each.
Is your computer slowing down now that the programs you’re running are getting more and more demanding? Does your desktop balk when you try to open and edit that huge video file of you dancing the Macarena? Maybe things slow down to a crawl if you’ve got 10 Firefox windows open while your mp3 player is randomly playing through your whole collection and you decide to open a 30 MB image for photo editing. Sounds like you need more RAM.
Just make sure: your motherboard accepts memory modules of this speed (333) and that you have an empty memory slot to accommodate them.

Club 3D GeForce 6600 GT AGP graphics card
Not exactly cutting edge anymore, this baby will see still cost you 100 euros in the stores today.
This one should be self-explanatory. If you’re a gamer or a video editor and you haven’t upgraded your graphics card in the past few years, you don’t know what you’re missing. I couldn’t even load Grand Theft Auto until I slotted this bad boy into my tower. Now I’m Quake fragging like a madman. And Madden Football? To die for.
Just make sure: your motherboard accepts AGP graphics cards.

DVD burner
I don’t know, maybe 40 euros.
Is it possible that you still don’t have a DVD burner in your computer? I highly doubt it. But if don’t, don’t tell anyone. They’ll just make fun of you. Tell me and you’ll be burning copies of your favorite DVD store rentals in no time. And I won’t tell anyone. Promise.
Just make sure: your computer isn’t running Windows 3.11 or earlier.

I’ve also got some other stuff that you might be interested in: a plain-as-vanilla CD burner, a nice ATX mid tower case with a pretty transparent side, a dirty old English language keyboard, a decent Thermaltake CPU fan, and the aforementioned dodgy motherboard and processor (but I wouldn’t recommend using them). So leave a comment, send me an email, or give me a call. You’ve got one week and then I start researching recycling centers.

[delivery, installation, and technical support NOT included]

After a glowing review from my sister Rebecca, I decided to contact my local orthodontist and request Invisalign.

“Invisalign uses a series of clear aligners that are custom-molded to fit you. The virtually invisible aligners gradually reposition your teeth into a smile you’ll be proud of.”

And that’s what I wanted. This was back in January.

Yes, I did have braces when I was younger. Though they made playing the trumpet a bloody-lipped nightmare, they did straighten my teeth. But, like too many short-sighted teens, I never wore my retainer afterwards and my teeth eventually started to wander. It’s probably for aesthetic reasons that I’d like to straighten my teeth now, but I can justify it with the fact that a couple of the twisted teeth on the bottom make cleaning between them something difficult to impossible.

I thought my sister got a halfway decent deal when she did it in the States so I decided to go for it. Surprise #1: it would cost me twice as much to have the process done here! About 6000 euros! But I went for it anyway. I lost a lot of sleep over that decision.

They took some molds of my mouth and sent them off to the company and I paid a substantial down payment. Surprise #2: I was told that I would have to wait about a month to even find out if I was a candidate for the procedure. And they pointed out that, if they tell you one month, that usually means to expect at least two months. And if I wasn’t deemed a viable candidate, I wouldn’t be getting back my down payment. But I went for it anyway. I lost a lot of hair over that decision.

One month passed. Two months passed. Three, four, five months passed!!! I guess this was surprise #3. I knocked on their door and the following conversation took place (more or less):

Me: WTF?!
Them: We’re very sorry.
Me: I should f@#king hope so!
Them: Look, we’ve been calling them every single day for the past two months and they either give us the run around or they don’t answer, we leave a message, and they never get back to us. We’ve even tried contacting the Spanish sales representative but she’s completely useless. We’re very frustrated as we imagine you are. You’re not the only person who’s been waiting to hear back from these people. Imagine what it would be like if you were six months into the process when this happened! They’ve made us look very bad and they’re hurting our reputation with our clients, so we’ve decided to not work with them ever again.
Me: So where does that leave me?
Them: We’ll be happy to refund your money and we hope you don’t hold this unfortunate incident against us.

Fair enough. I walked in there pretty pissed off but getting my money back seemed to make everything all better. Anyway, they went on to explain how they’ve started working with a new company called Clear Aligner that provides a very similar service, is located in Spain so communication and turn-around times are much faster, and is about half the price. I told them I’d have to think about it. This was in July.

Today I went back to the orthodontist and signed on the dotted line. They made some more molds of my teeth and I should be getting my first set of clear aligners in under two weeks.

What was the damage? Cheaper than 6000. Less than 3000. They quoted me 2700, to be paid 900 up front and 24 monthly installments of 75 euros. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I asked them if they would be willing to give me a discount if I paid the whole thing up front. The receptionist said she didn’t think that would be possible. I told her to go to the secret office in the back and ask anyway. She came back a minute later and said they’d knock 5% off. Sweet. I saved about 200 euros just by asking. I was very proud of myself.

Sometime during the past week – seemingly unprovoked and without warning – Emily developed a debilitating fear of the drain plug in the bathtub. The little girl who once giggled and romped in her happy nighttime bath now cries, cowers, screeches, and claws at me in an attempt to escape the certain doom that is apparently glowering at her in the form of that little black rubber stopper. If I can get her to sit down and face in the opposite direction, she’s absolutely fine. But as soon as she remembers that it’s there, the neighbors hear about it. Maybe I need to get a different color drain plug. Or just start her on showers.

The family and I went to Lucy’s house last night (aka our old house) for a relaxing terrace dinner leading into a raucous terrace going-away party. We’ll miss you, Lucy!

The plan was for me to bring Emily home early when Little Girl bedtime was approaching so as to allow Jan to stay and dance her socks off till the wee small hours. But, when yawns and eye-rubs arrived, everyone was having so much fun that Jan convinced me to put Emily to sleep in the quiet bedroom so I could stay and enjoy the festivities. The plan worked flawlessly until about 3am when Emily woke up and, even after various attempts at hushes and lullabies and rocking and milkies, she would not go back to sleep. She knew there was a party going on and she wanted part of the action.

So what did her responsible parents do? We brought her out to the terrace to boogie down with Fatboy Slim and The Chemical Brothers, of course. And there she boogied for well over an hour. It wasn’t all dancing, mind you. Emily also participated in some nighttime stair climbing, some moonlight floor sweeping, and a little nocturnal telephone dialing. All the while I was being eaten away by guilt from knowing that I was failing her as a responsible father. Well, not the whole time. I was actually having a good time. But when 5am drew near, my feelings of ineptitude grew too heavy to bear. We packed up, said our goodbyes, and walked home. Emily didn’t last more than three blocks before she was down for the count.

Apparently, toddlers aren’t very big on sleeping late in the morning – even on weekends! As a result, today has been declared National Nap Day.

What a waste of time! I had to wake up this morning at the ungodly hour of 7am to get to the hospital at 8am for my first session of physical therapy for my poor poor back. And we all know how good I am at going to sleep early. *sigh* Needless to say, I was tired. I raced the morning sun by swiftly walking the 12 blocks to the hospital and got there a little late (around 8:10ish) but it took them another 15 minutes to attend to me at reception. When I finally got to the “Back School” classroom at 8:25, the teacher kindly informed me that they were just finishing up the last of the exercises on the half hour class. Half hour class?! They want me to wake up at 7am and trudge over there everyday for two weeks to stretch for 30 minutes? I don’t think so!

Happy one year birthday, Emily.

What amazingly mixed feelings. Though it’s been said before, that doesn’t make it any less true: time goes by so quickly! Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was getting by working part-time as an actor and playing volleyball three nights a week while Jan was teaching English to kindergarteners and getting sauced every Friday night? Yet, at the same time, I look at photos of Emily from when she was six months old and it seems like a lifetime has passed since then. We love watching her grow and change but we also know that once her crawling stage has passed (and it already has), it’s gone forever. Bitter sweet.

Emily spent most of her time since her 11 month birthday traveling around the United States of America. The plan was to start off with a whirlwind tour of New York City, taking dramatic photos of our Little Girl in front of the Statue of Liberty, casually walking through Central Park, riding the subway, and buried up to her eyebrows in stuffed animals at FAO Schwartz. But we got sick. So we spent a wonderfully relaxing week by the pool at cousin Cookie and Mike’s house in Chappaqua. They were so generous and accommodating, I cannot thank them enough. Next, we went up to cousin Susie’s house in Potsdam for her surprise 60th birthday party. Unfortunately, my mom couldn’t make the trip (we missed you, mom), but millions of other family members did. That was a blast. I was well within my death-by-family-overload threshold. So many relatives had never met Emily before! I hope she didn’t steal all my cousin’s limelight. Then we headed out west to California for 10 days with my Aunt Amy and my Nana (now to be affectionately called “GG” – for Great Grandmother). More swimming pools and dinner parties and day trips and doggies and lovely times spent with family. Amy and GG volunteered to play with Emily every morning, allowing Jan and me to get a couple of extra hours of much needed sleep. They were so amazing to us, we didn’t want to leave – but we had to. August was ending and Barcelona was calling. A 14 hour plane ride from LA to Barcelona via Amsterdam was easily tackled thanks to a very thoughtful Emily sleeping 60% of the trip. Thank God.

So we’re home now, almost completely recovered from the massive nine-timezone jetlag we have been suffering this week. And today, Emily turned one year old. Here’s what she’s been up to:

• At last month’s count, Emily had seven teeth. Geez, imagine suffering through seven teeth ripping their way through your tender gums over the course of only a few months. OK, now imagine getting five more teeth in under 30 days! Yup, we’re up to 12 (and back to an even number, I’m happy to say).
• I shudder to think what this girl’s future phone bills will be like. Emily loves telephones. In the past, and without knowing why, she would yearn to pick up and hold each and every phone in her immediate vicinity. She would dial some numbers, hand you the phone so you could speak with the nonexistent person on the other end, but then she would take it back and just smile. Now, Emily likes to walk around the house talking on the phone, too. I think she calls China because I often hear her saying “Wing nyong wing nyong wing nyong”. I’d better teach her how to use Skype if I want to save on long distance calls.
• Emily has developed quite the powerful throwing arm. She mostly uses her newfound ability for evil: throwing toys across the room. food against the wall, shoes in the garbage, or clothing in the toilet. But occasionally, she enjoys the off game of catch. Thank goodness Amy’s dog, Sadie, was up to the challenge. Emily would throw the ball and, much to Emily’s delight, Sadie would catch the ball and gently roll it back to her. This would go on for days, sometimes weeks, until either Sadie would get fed up with Emily’s little girl throws and bring the ball to someone else or Emily would get distracted by random objects – like a small branch, for instance – and prematurely end the game.
• I hear that you can’t bring baby baths with you on trans-Atlantic flights. Something about terrorists and “bath bombs”. I don’t know. So Emily was forced to endure three weeks of showers and big girl baths in the US. It seemed a little ridiculous to go back to the tiny baby bath when we got home, so Emily now takes her nightly bath using the entire bathtub. And she’s absolutely loving it. I just wish she would sit down and let me get to business instead of standing up, walking all over the place, and dancing till she slips and falls. That kid’s got a death wish, I tell you.
• We’re still not forming full, grammatically correct sentences, but after hearing us sing Old MacDonald Had A Farm, Emily likes to join in with “e-GO-e-GO-e-GO”. Just one of her very cute tricks. She also claps her hands when she’s happy and she knows it, she “open shuts them” on command, performs random headstands to please the house guests (after which, we all have to yell “upside down Emily!”), can selectively point to any one of six different animals (including “mommy” and “daddy”), and finds nothing more amusing than holding her nose and impersonating telephone operators by saying “mamamama” and then proudly smiling to herself.
• Emily’s hard independent shell is thankfully starting to crack. Don’t get me wrong: I love the fact that she can play on her own while we get things done around the house. But now, she not only lets us hold her hand while she’s walking (sometimes), but her list of needs that send her flying into our arms has expanded from just “hungry, tired, and in pain” to include “want to snuggle”. So nice
• Jan’s mom says that, at one year old, she was running around the playground and climbing things like a little daredevil, making older kids hurt themselves by trying to keep up. Well, Emily is definitely her mommy’s little girl. Last week, Emily climbed up the small set of stairs at the playground and went down the slide all by herself. Head first! Thank goodness we have socialized medicine.
• I really thought the whole “learning to walk” thing would be more of a process and not such a night-and-day transformation. I had expected Emily to trip over her own feet for at least a few months. But after only taking her first steps about six weeks ago, she is already running! I’m not giving any points for style here, but when it comes to pure velocity, we sometimes verge on breaking a sweat when it comes time to chase her down after a playground session. She knows that it’s time to go and she isn’t ready yet. I think we’ll move on to forward rolls before we attempt our first cartwheel.

Royal flush. I win!

Nice to see you at my party.

And finally, to commemorate the momentous occasion, I offer you a splendiferous collection of amazingly lifelike Emily photos from the past few months, in awe-inspiring high resolution, assembled into my newest (and arguably cutest) Flickr set:

Click here to see a slide show of the new photos.

Click here to view the photos in their natural habitat on my Flickr page.

Jan and I were quietly lounging on the couch tonight after just having watched an episode of Flight of the Conchords when Jan turned to me and said:

“As I was walking home tonight, I saw this guy wearing headphones while I was crossing the street. He was like 30 or 40. I don’t really know. He wasn’t really big though. Anyway, it was like 10 o’clock at night and there was nobody else on the street. While he was walking I heard him make this really big fart. It was really long and loud. I mean loud. I was stunned. And then he did another one! I turned around to see if he was really wearing headphones and he was. He didn’t even know he had farted!”

Then she made a sandwich and went to sleep.

After a wonderful trip to those United States, we are back home in sunny (and humid) Barcelona, safe and sound. And utterly exhausted. The three of us are currently suffering from a serious case of jet lag and will continue blogging as soon as the Little Girl decides to stop waking up at 3am for three hour romps around the house.