Joshua Zamrycki's Weblog

I got a call from the indie production company today for whose upcoming animated film, Godspeed, I had provided my voice. They called to tell me:

• the animation is finally complete and they’re all very happy with the finished product.
• they’ve decided to add a scene to the film and would need me to come back into the recording studio next week for one hour to record the new dialog.
• the website for the film is now public and I should check it out.

I’d describe the film as a spiritual futuristic science fiction fantasy. My character’s name is Goh’nah El’Djinn (pronounced exactly as it’s spelled) – “a protégé of Hah’Kim, this young El’Djinn is too impulsive for his own good… but, also, a soldier extraordinaire“. Check out the trailer on the website. I don’t think my voice appears in the trailer so you’ll just have to wait until it’s bought and broadcast somewhere. I especially like the spaceship scenes – they look really smooth. Like a video game that I’d really like to play.

I was in a recording studio this morning finishing up the latest corporate video for HP. When I finished at around 11am, I decided not go into the office but to spend the rest of the day at home instead. I can do that. After perusing the bare cupboards of the kitchen, I decided that I deserved a treat so I invited a very lovely young lady out to lunch.

I don’t think I had every been to a restaurant with this girl before – just the two of us. It was exciting. I insisted on paying for both of us and immediately felt giddy like we were on a first date.

We strategically tackled the all-you-can-eat salad bar. I picked out all the foods that I thought she would like and she just sat back and let me take charge. We found a table at the rear of the restaurant where there weren’t many people. I pulled out her chair for her and made sure she was comfortable before I sat down.

It was such a wonderful feeling staring across that tiny table, making small talk and watching her eat. We laughed a lot! I caught a few people staring at us. I offered her some of my soup and she insisted that I spoon feed it to her. She kept coming back for more. I considered giving her a taste of my wine but I knew that would be a bad idea.

For dessert, I ordered the fruit cup for her and a frozen yogurt for me. She generously let me have a few pieces of her fruit and, in return, I gave her some of my yogurt. A guy walked past our table as I was feeding her a spoonful of yogurt, smiled widely, and gave me a knowing wink of encouragement.

I really did have a surprisingly wonderful time today. No cooking, no cleanup, and exquisite company. From now on, I’m going to try to take a day off and bring Emily out to a restaurant with me every week.

Emily is back on a predictable two nap a day schedule, breaking her days into three easily digestible pieces. Here’s how I spent this weekend:

Saturday morning: Woke up with Emily and played in the living room while Jan had a much-deserved lie-in. We hid out in Emily’s new tent, read through some fascinating books about colors and animals, and built a scale model representation of modern-day Tokyo. Emily can build a skyscraper five blocks tall all by herself and then likes to assume the role of Godzilla.

Saturday afternoon: Went down to the park with Emily and left Jan to relax on the sofa with E.R. and The IT Crowd. We must assume that Emily loves the swings because she protests if you take her off before 10 minutes have passed even though she doesn’t so much as crack a smile while swinging. She rode the big girl swing all by herself today. Good grip, that girl. We also spent a significant amount of time on the slide. Totally independent, Emily climbs up the stairs and then sits before hurling herself down the slide – sometimes sitting up but usually on her belly. We made a delightful pit stop on the way home to smell some lovely orange flowers. Emily was very gentle and managed to restrain from plucking any.

Saturday evening: After overwhelming anticipation on my part, I finally sat down with Jan’s new laptop (which I pilfered from work!) and installed Gutsy Gibbon. The installation itself only took about 15 minutes but I spent a couple of hours pimping it out. Having never used Linux before, Jan had absolutely no problems finding her way around when I finally let her have a go. I’m totally jealous now and can’t wait until next weekend when I upgrade my Feisty Fawn!!

Saturday night: Parky came by to babysit while Jan and I went out for a raucous night on the town with ex-Barcelona Welsh boy Dave and all his rowdy mates from England. Dave’s getting married in two months and chose Barcelona for his stag night/bachelor party. We started off with some absolutely amazing Galician food and some dodgy red wine, and moved on to The Black Horse for beer, the Borne for massive mojitos, and then Plaza Reial for more beer. I called it quits early and headed home around 3am. I think I smelled Jan get home at around 6. Good times.

Sunday morning: Once again, I spent a lovely morning with Emily, Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Baby Einstein. Jan and Sarah soon joined us and we all spent a quiet Sunday morning lounging on the sofa. I took the opportunity to reorganize my movie collection – now each film in its own plastic sleeve for easy alphabetizing. Emily couldn’t leave the discs alone and I had to stop somewhere between the L’s and N’s for fear of having my collection destroyed. Good grip, that girl.

Sunday afternoon: We went to the park to join Sasha in celebrating his fourth birthday. Lots of kids, baseball, sword fighting, face painting, and egg on spoon races. Emily was in awe at the big kids but got right into the mix.

Sunday evening: I guess she was feeling particularly inspired today because Emily decided to put on a show for us, the likes of which we had never seen. Dancing, jumping, singing, pirouetting, pointing, playing, and laughing – she whipped out every trick in the book. I wanted to get just a few minutes on video but I couldn’t stop recording and, before I knew it, I had nearly a half an hour of Emily footage. I wish I could post it here now but I don’t have the time or energy to edit and upload the video. I’ll work on it and try to post something later this week.

Ten years ago, I went to the dermatologist to have an unsightly mole removed from the back of my neck. The doc informed me that the mole didn’t look cancerous (if that is what I was concerned about) and that the removal of said nevi would be for purely aesthetic purposes. I was cool with that and gave the green light. He did, however, notice three other spots on my back that did not look as innocent and recommended their immediate removal for biopsy. He slashed them off and, when the test results came back one month later, told me that there was nothing to worry about. He proceeded to warn me about the dangers of sun exposure and how my skin type was particularly susceptible to all sorts of nasty sun-related scary stuff and how I should avoid the sun whenever possible, wear SPF 5 billion sunscreen, and always wear a shirt when on the beach or at the pool. I kindly thanked the gentleman for his educated words of warning and informed him that I was about to move to Barcelona where I would be joyfully spending the entirety of my days playing beach volleyball under the brilliant Spanish sun. He told me to get regular dermatological checkups. Our paths were never to cross again.

A couple of months ago, I was reminded of this sobering anecdote and said to myself, “Shit! I haven’t had a checkup in ten years!”. So I did.

The Spanish doc didn’t like the look of one particular spot that he found on my belly and sent me off to have it removed and biopsied. When I had arrived at the hospital this morning and was under the bright lights of the Minor Surgery Ward in my flattering dressing gown and bathing cap, the surgeon noticed another suspicious spot just inches away from the first little bugger. Between the two of us, we made the executive decision to just whack the both of them.

The doctor was surprised when she caught me watching her administer the local anesthetic. She said most people choose not to watch and those that do usually get woozy when the needle punctures the skin. I found it fascinating. I was probably a little nervous but I enjoyed the challenge of forcing myself to stay calm and watch. I guess they don’t like it when patients watch because she placed a cover over my belly before slicing and told me not to look. The anesthesia worked a treat and I didn’t feel a thing until she was stitching me up at the end and I felt the tugging.

The anesthesia started to wear off about an hour later. It vaguely felt like there was a pin sticking in me. A half an hour later, it felt like there were two pins. After that, it felt like the pins were being pulled apart while still in me. The next stage of consciousness felt like someone was pressing a finger into the hole still held open by those damn pins. Not overtly painful, mind you, but uncomfortable nonetheless. I hope nothing untoward happens in my sleep tonight. I’ve never had stitches before.

I should get the stitches out in 10 days and then I head back to the hospital in a couple of months to see if those ugly little belly spots were actually harbingers of some sort of vile cancer or if they were just innocent beauty marks. I’m not worried.

I am very happy to announce that Emily pooped in the bath for the first time. No, I’m not happy that she pooped in the tub. Jan astutely observed that if either of us was home alone with Emily when it happened, we probably wouldn’t have survived. It was a complicated and delicate operation. I am happy, however, that we survived more than an entire year of bathing adventures without a single floater. We all know it was only a matter of time.

It’s very quiet right now. It’s 1am and both Jan and Emily are sleeping – Jan cuddling her book and Emily cuddling BBB (first time she’s ever slept with a stuffed animal!). And we are the only people in the house… for the first time… in a long time.

Jan’s parents flew home today. They had been staying with us for the past week which means that Jan and I got to camp out in the office on the jumbo inflatable bed – the same place where Sarah had stayed the week before when she crashed with us after deciding to make the big move from England (via Ecuador) to Spain. Welcome Sarah! It was so nice having them all here. Jan and her mum went to a Catalan tribute to Frank Sinatra concert at Palau de la Música, we took Jan’s dad to Camp Nou to see Barcelona kick Atlético Madrid’s butt, I got Jan and Sarah VIP tickets to the HP-sponsored Andy Somers (of The Police) photo exhibition, and there were countless trips to the park/playground/beach. Not to mention the priceless benefits of having live-in babysitters. Oops, I just mentioned them.

We’ve got a month of silent freedom now before my dad comes to visit. He has stated that he wants to rent a Smart Car, drive to Andorra, take a ferry to Africa, celebrate Thanksgiving in Spain, and spend quality time with Emily. Four out of five of those things are possible. I can’t wait!

Here is a photo of Emily down in Barceloneta with her pushchair that GG got for her to celebrate her 1 year birthday. She loves this thing!

And here is Camp Nou, where Barça plays. It’s the largest stadium in all of Europe.

I started trolling the interwebs today for decent plane tickets to Miami. Besides being the most important religious feast of the Christian liturgical year, Easter also coincides with my Nana’s birfday. 85 in 2008! How could we not join in the festivities?

Anywho, after a very preliminary scan of the usual suspects, Iberia and Alitalia appear to have the best deals on for that time of year. Calculations are already underway and a spreadsheet has already been created, so nobody panic.

It’ll be great for the family to catch up with the new and improved Emily. No one in my immediate family has seen her since she was seven months old! She’s a different person now, all together. “She’s a different person now.”

I’ll keep you abreast of any new developments.

Happy 13 month birthday, Emily.

I know I can’t go on writing these monthly updates forever. It’ll be a little strange (and monotonous) to write a bulleted list of the things Emily accomplishes during her 74th month. But it doesn’t feel like the right time to stop just yet. I was considering it. One year would have been a perfectly good candidate for changing this update format. But she’s growing up so quickly and surprising us so often that I feel it would be a crime to not continue documenting her achievements for all of you who don’t get to see her as often as you’d like. I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them.

Toddler is such a neat word. It really describes not only their style of walking but their whole lifestyle in general. Bopping around penguin-like from place to place without a care in the world. Good times. Here’s what our little toddler has been up to this past month:

• As expected, Emily’s walking is improving. So much, in fact, that she often walks with me to the supermarket! She loves the freedom. In addition to the normal walking and running, Emily has been seen walking backwards (but not moonwalking) and performing pirouettes with her arms over her head. She likes to spin until she gets dizzy and falls down. This is apparently like magic mushrooms for toddlers.
• It took a whole year, but Emily is finally loving the peekaboo. The two major variations of the game consist of her covering her eyes with her open palms and then throwing her hands out to the side while her mouth hangs open in a smile waiting for you to shout “Peekaboo!”, or her hiding behind the curtains in the front room and then quickly peeking out with the same look of anticipation. This is much fun until about the 14th “peekaboo” or when she insists on playing while in her highchair at dinner time with her hands filled with food. Avocado in the eyes = game over.
• She started with “Mamamama” and quickly moved to a crystal clear “daddy” (which is her new favorite word). But we were never 100% sure if she knew what she was saying. Well, the other week, she was at Juls’ house playing with her son Charlie. Emily started saying “Barley. Barley”. We were all like, “What?”. So she tried again: “Arley. Arley!”. Blank looks all around. Then she pointed right at Juls’ son and said, “Charlie!”. There may be hope for her yet.
• At 13 months of age, we are currently in the process of weening Emily off of breastfeeding. It’s been three days now that she hasn’t had a hit on the old boob and it looks like this should be a piece of cake. We weren’t 100% sure if we should press the issue after only one year – Jan believes that the amount of time spent breastfeeding and the likelihood of developing allergies are indirectly proportional. When she was a baby, Jan breastfed for about six months and now has a plethora of annoying allergies while I breastfed for about six years (kidding!) and never have to carry a handkerchief. It’s a moot point, though, because Emily decided for herself that 12 months was just right for her. She’s rocking the formula now but has already had some favorable experiences with soy milk. Once the hormonal fluctuations dissipate, the boobs will once again be mine! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
• She’s been removing them for months, but Emily has finally started putting the colored blocks back in the appropriately shaped holes. The blue circle is easiest. The orange rectangle still gets her a bit frustrated.
• Speaking of getting frustrated, little Miss “I’m the center of the Universe” isn’t handling rejection very well. If you dare to stop her from turning on the oven, climbing on the subwoofer, smashing the keys on your laptop, or ripping up some papers from work, you will be met with the scream of a grumpy little tyrant. She’s even mastered the whole “go limp and fall to the ground when someone grabs your hand and you don’t want them to” thing.
• Imaginative play is going wild. Emily will pick up a mobile phone, flip it open, hold it to her ear, say “hello”, and babble out a proper conversation which appears to be comprised of her making fun of whoever is on the other end. Emily will pick up Patch The Dog (one of her larger stuffed animals), talk to him for a while, and then make him jump up and down while Patch responds. Emily will also dump out the contents of her tea party bag, hand you a tea cup (and occasionally a saucer), pick up the tea kettle, pour you a cup of tea, wait for you to drink it, and then pour you another. This last game really freaked me out when Emily did it for the first time after only having seen us do it once.
• Just yesterday, Emily started kissing. She’ll even give you a kiss if you ask for one! Her timing isn’t perfect yet – the kissy noise will usually come way before your lips actually meet, but it is the sweetest thing in the entire universe.

Zoo face!

Yo feet’s too big.

I couldn’t wait for the cartoon series that I have been directing for the past half year, Little King Macius, to end. The show itself was fine. I even enjoyed it! And the actors did a wonderful job creating their hilarious characters. But as the dubbing director, I had to sit through each episode at least eight times – in excruciating detail. The only people who should be as intimately familiar with a cartoon series are the geeks that live at Comic-Con.

When the final episode was completed last month, I promised myself I wouldn’t direct dubbing again for a long time. And then I got a phone call. A recording studio in Barcelona (a converted mansion, actually) found themselves with a series of eight short horror vignettes based on wonderfully bloody and somewhat ridiculous urban legends to be dubbed into English. A prominent Catalan director who I had worked with in the past recommended that they call me to head the project if they wanted it done right. Not wanting to let said director down, I agreed. Eight episodes, six actors, three days, and one severed head later, the project was completed. My favorite episode was the one where a female postal worker unknowingly licks an envelope that had been occupied by a cockroach, cuts her tongue terribly, proceeds to feel horribly ill, passes out, and watches helplessly as five nasty roaches burrow their way out of her now fat and puss-filled purple tongue. Sweet.

As I was packing up my shizit on the last day of recording, one of the girls from the studio pulled me aside and told me about an upcoming TV ad that they would be dubbing next week and told me that I might be perfect for the part. The clients were looking for a native English speaker who spoke Catalan with a thick foreign accent. She footnoted her request by saying that my Catalan accent was probably too good but that I could play it up. Happy to oblige, I recorded a few castings right then and there for the studio to send on to the client. I felt like an idiot speaking with such a crap accent but the thought of the paycheck kept me going. This morning I got a call from the studio. The clients chose me and I’ll be recording the spot next week. Nice.

As if this wasn’t enough, someone at HP found out that I was an actor and sent me an email asking if I’d be interested in acting in an upcoming video that they’re making and plan to post on the web. I’d have to demonstrate how to use a third-party media cutter in conjunction with one of our 60-inch Z6100 printers and then record the voice-over narration. It sounded interesting and possibly even fun so I would have probably said yes even if they didn’t go on to say that I could practically name my price. Awesome.

Looks like Emily is going to have a very happy Chanukah this year.

Last night, for the first time in her entire life, Emily slept the whole night through! From 9pm to 8am, there wasn’t so much as a peep out of her. This was a momentous occasion that we had been anxiously awaiting for more than a year. We hold no hopes whatsoever for a repeat performance tonight.