Nov
20
2008

My Wife’s Weight Problem

Jan used to be a competitive gymnast. When I met her, she had a killer belly.


52 months ago

I enjoyed that belly for many years. I eventually decided to marry that belly.


40 months ago

Then something went terribly terribly wrong. I don’t know if it was the beer or the Pringles, but as soon as we were married, Jan just let herself go. The belly had changed.


30 months ago

Thankfully, Jan saw the error of her ways and quickly worked to remedy the situation. After what seemed to be 9 months of Bad Belly Days, we were back to Washboard City.


15 months ago

It is therefore with a heavy heart that I am forced to admit in this public forum that my wife has once again fallen off the wagon. Blame the Pringles if you will. I blame myself.


1 month ago

This roller coaster must come to an end. I am tired of waking up and not recognizing the woman asleep beside me. Emily is ashamed to show her face at school. That is why I have called for this recent lapse of big-bellyness to be righted. We have the best medical practitioners working around the clock to solve this problem. Please include us in your prayers so that our suffering will come to an end by February 27, 2009.


It’s a boy!

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