I’m waiting to hear from the guys in Zaragoza and then I’m going to book a flight up to England and Scotland in August to attend the annual Fringe Theater Festival in Edinburgh. After that, I’m going to bike my way across northern England with a tent on my back for a few weeks. Anyone wanna go? I’m serious. And then when the summer is over, whether I get this theater job or not, I really think I want to stay here in Spain. I don’t know for how long, but I just can’t imagine myself living anywhere else right now. I know I haven’t experienced all there is to experience here so I’m not gonna leave until I do. I have no idea when I’ll be able to visit the States again, but it probably won’t be for a while. ¡Que lastima! Like I said before, you’re just gonna have to come and visit me. I hope that you are happy wherever you are in both the world and your life. I miss you very much and wish the Atlantic wasn’t quite so wide. It’d be great if I could just go for a swim, visit you for a while, and then swim home. Be good.

Love,
Josh

A friend of mine here in Barcelona told me about a casting for a cartoon that was going to be dubbed into English. When I eventually calmed down and was peeled off of the ceiling from my excitement, I went to the casting with my friend. It was sooooo cool! Dubbing is a huge business here in Spain – both into Spanish and into English. Apparently, it’s much cheaper to get things translated into English here than it is in the US or England so many companies choose the economical route and get their films, etc. dubbed in Spain. This specific company was the same one that brought us such crap cartoons as Beverly Hills Teen and the like. This project was a cartoon from France that they wanted to release in the US. After an interview with the casting director, I was recommended to read for the lead good-guy, his little good-guy friend, and a couple comic bad-guys (we prefer the term ‘henchmen’). We got to look at pictures of the characters, read a bit of their bios, and had to read a few lines as that character. My reading of the lead guy was alright – nothing great. My reading of the kid was just shit. But the bad guys were tons of fun and I really think I did a good job. I gave one of them a really high screechy voice like a Skekzy from the Dark Crystal. He even had a cool laugh. We swapped spots in the recording booth (my friend and I) so we could prepare our next character and speak with the director. He said he was very impressed with both my voices and my Spanish (in our conversation)! That was awesome!! And then he asked me something that took me a bit by surprise. He asked if I had ever considered dubbing pornos… I blinked a couple times and then said, “Well… I’ve never really thought about it before. But I don’t see why not!” He said that cartoon projects, as cool are they are, were few and far between but the porno industry is gigantic. He then said that he’d give me a call in a couple weeks about the cartoon and if they get another project that they think I’d be appropriate for they’d give me a call. I went home that day with millions of questions swimming through my head and even more anticipation. I told my flat mates what had happened and they all laughed (I guess I would have done the same). I promised them all a copy of my first porno film with my voice on it and even the possibility of a public screening for all my friends. Ha ha ha, right? Well two weeks later a get a call from the studio and they ask me if I can come in to work on a project. I ask, “Is it the cartoon?” They said no, another studio got that contract. This was for a movie that needed to be dubbed. And then they said the words that echoed through my head all that day and wouldn’t let me stop smiling: A PORNO! I thought about if for a minute (actually a split-second) and said, “Great. What time do you need me?” And the rest is history. How amazingly cool! I’m a porn star!!! I only did one movie that day (about four hours work). It was a horrible rip-off of one of Marlene Dietrich’s first movies, The Blue Angel. I was an active member of the student body at a high school. Let’s just say my teachers loved me. Four or five times. The studio is almost definitely going to call me again. The perks are great: I get to meet new and interesting people and laugh at ridiculously stupid movies all at the same time. Plus they pay really well – about $150 per movie (for unknowns like me) but I would have done it just for the experience and the studio-paid lunch. I guess if there had to be a downside it would be that I get a little dizzy when I’m in a really long scene and have to hyper ventilate for a while. I still can’t believe it. What the hell am I doing?!? [this paragraph was not sent to anyone under 18]

“Travel around Spain with a play? That’s not a bad idea! I think I’ll try it!” And so I went to Zaragoza (a four hour bus ride) last week for an audition with a traveling theater company here in Spain after seeing an ad in the local paper for native English speaking actors who can do clown work. I speak English. I can wear a red nose and fall on my arse. The name of the play is Henry Frog and it has a 70+ show run scheduled for next year from October to April. There are only two parts to cast, but I had a really good feeling after they asked me to do all sorts of crazy stuff during the one-hour personal audition like, well, just pretty much embarrass myself. Now I have to wait a week or so and they’ll get back to me. Keep your fingers crossed!

OK, I’ll talk briefly about my other play. Since my last letter to you, this show has been a real roller coaster!
An up: I took over as director! Yes, acting and directing in the same show!! It’s definitely a challenge and I’m glad I’m doing it, but never again.
A down: I had to fire our third actor because he just couldn’t learn his lines. I felt horrible! It was only my first week as director and we just weren’t making any progress. He said he understood and promised to come and see the show. Sorry Jay!
An up: We found another actor to fill the role of the absent-minded physics professor and he’s done a much better job than the last guy (sorry Jay). Actually, we took Derek (from KC) from Volpone so we’re doing both shows together.
A loop the loop: We started planning our show dates and included in our six week June-July run were such exotic locations as Madrid, Paris, Amsterdam, and Switzerland!! How incredibly cool! Plus we’d be making money!!!
An unexpected down: Derek said that he was too bogged down with his job and the two shows he was acting in and so he decided to let me know last week that he can no longer be in our show. NO!!!!! I begged. I pleaded. I almost cried. Goodbye Paris!
A bit of an up: I worked out an agreement with Derek whereas, instead of dropping the show completely, we’re going to take a four week hiatus and resume the show again at the end of June when his work and Volpone are over. This will leave us with a meager, yet existent, two week run and only here in Barcelona. I’m happy that we’re at least doing the show, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed over losing the opportunity to travel to all those great cities with a show that I was acting in. Oh well, there’s always next year!

I told you in my last letter that I was planning on auditioning for another play here in Barcelona called Volpone, written by Ben Johnson (a buddy of Will Shakespeare). Well, about 40 days ago I did and about 39 days ago I was cast as Volpone (the lead). We have been rehearsing every weekend for the past month or so and I really like the people I’m working with. There are about 12 of us in the cast and besides myself and Derek (from Kansas City) they’re all British! The director is really cool, too (yes, a Brit as well). He’s very much into the physical aspect of theater so we’ve been focusing on our characters a whole lot and playing tons of cool theater games. The play is all about greed and lust and just about every character is a baddie and thus gets his come-up-ins in the end. Yes, I would be the main baddie. Even cooler, most of the characters have the names and personalities of animals. There’s a vulture, a crow, a fly, and a raven. Volpone is actually Italian for “the big fox”. I get to be sly. Because of this part, I have thus grown a moustache and a goatee (which look surprisingly good) and will soon dye my hair a nice orange-red (very fox-like). We open on June 18th and only have three shows planned so buy your plane tickets now!

Mar was at a party a few weeks ago at a squat not far from our flat and met a 17 year old girl named Ellen from Belgium (we think she’s a run away). She didn’t have any place to sleep so Mar invited her to stay at our place for the night. She didn’t speak any Spanish but she did speak fairly good English so I was able to have a couple conversations with her. I had never met anyone from Belgium before. A nice enough girl – very spiritual and really into the whole “life is energy and we are all one” thing. I was building a board game from spare scraps of wood and Ellen wanted to build one too so I let her borrow the saw. She briefly described her game and it sounded very much like tic-tac-toe but she called it “three in a row” and said that it required a lot of strategy. I didn’t see the point of going through all the trouble of actually making a board for tic-tac-toe. But she spoke about it with such enthusiasm – how she and her father used to play it when they were in the woods and if you use very interesting rocks (instead of X’s and O’s) it’s very earthy and natural. So she built her little board and drew the # design on it. We sat down to play and she handed me three very cool rocks that she had found on the beach and she kept three different looking rocks for herself. I pointed out to her that we would need more than three rocks each if we wanted to play a full game and then she explained the rules and I learned an awesome new game! After you place your three pieces (a la tic-tac-toe) you then have to pick up one of them and move it to another square on your next move. You just keep moving the three pieces that you have until you get three in a row. I had never played this before and really thought it was lots of fun. We played for at least an hour (easily beating the amount of time I could stand to play tic-tac-toe). Everyone go out and find six really cool rocks and give it a try – it’s great!

I’ve opened my home to all who wish to visit and people have actually said yes! Last month my Russians came to visit – that would be Evginey and his friends from Binghamton University. We were suitemates back in ’96. Well, they were studying in England for the semester and Spring Break brought them south to sunny Spain. I had a blast. I dragged them around to a few tourist traps and then showed them what the city was like behind the scenes (like only a local could show). I think they were really impressed with the tapas at this Basque bar I brought them to. In case you don’t know, tapas are kinda like hors d’oeuvres but they’re Spanish. In most bars in the south of Spain, if you buy a drink you get a tapa for free! You can actually have dinner without buying anything apart from a few beers! Some of the best places to hang out during the evening are the tapas bars. Oh, they’re so good. Anyway, after a few days of fun in the sun (and Evginey getting a really bad sunburn) they shipped off to France and I prepared for my next visitor: Shawn. I met Shawn on the plane to Madrid when I first arrived in Spain about eight months ago. We hung out for two days and then headed to different cities in Spain but we’ve managed to keep in touch and he stops by every time he travels through Barcelona. He was just wrapping up his seven month tour of Europe and decided to make one more stop at Chez Zamrycki. He’s a very cool guy with some life philosophies that I admire and he can kick my butt in chess (gotta admire that). I dragged him to a party at a friend’s house and marveled at his overuse of the Spanish equivalent for the word “dude” after he drank entirely too much wine. We spent the rest of the time playing Go on my new homemade board (he kicked my butt in that one too), playing volleyball on the beach, and playing You Don’t Know Jack on a borrowed computer (I demolished him in the latter two). All in all, a good time. I already have two more friends queued up to visit in the next couple months – Jennifer in June and Meg in July. When are you coming?

We got a kitten! His name is Junio (like the month), he’s orange and white, he was only a few weeks old when we got him, and he’s soooo cute! Mar, one of my flat mates, was on a weekend excursion up in the mountains when she found him. The farmer whose land she was on said that the kitten’s mother had just died and that he’d probably die too. Mar would have none of that hogwash so she picked up this little ball of fuzz and brought him home to Barcelona. She was going to name him after the farmer, but then realized that the named Junior was really stupid. So with a slight manipulation of the letters, he became Junio. He couldn’t even walk a straight line when he first arrived, but soon he was slowly climbing up stairs, and now at the ripe old age of three months he jumps them two at a time! His favorite pastimes are 1)climbing up people’s pant legs and continuing on to their shoulders and 2)tripping people. His favorite spot to take a nap is on the back of my neck while I’m hunched over and reading a book in the living room. He’ll have to stop that soon seeing as how he’s a lot bigger than when he first arrived two months ago. He’s now at the age where he loves to attack everything he sees – feet, pillows, newspapers, plants, my nose while I’m sleeping. Like a child, he can be quite trying at times. If he weren’t so darn cute I would have killed him a long time ago.

Boy, do I have a lot to catch you up on! First I’d like to congratulate all of my friends and family who have successfully completed yet another year of school. Good job! And now I’d like to gloat: summer is officially here in sunny Barcelona. The weather is constantly 25 degrees and the sea is just right to go swimming in. Delicious, in fact. I have bought a bicycle and it has since replaced the metro as my #1 means of transportation. This is why I came here. Now if it’d only stay this nice and not get any hotter like we all know it will. August can get as brutal as 40 degrees! (that’s just over 100 degrees F for all you Americans) That’s why the entire population leaves the city to the tourists for the entire month of August and retreats to their mountain homes. Not having acquired a mountain home of my own just yet, I plan to leave as well and head north for a while, but I’ll tell you all about that in just a bit. For now I’m keeping myself busy with way too much theater, volleyball (as usual), my friends and flat mates, I’m still teaching English, I’ve started swing dancing, and a whole lot more. Prepare yourself for another installment of Josh’s Spanish Diary and few surprises along the way. Make sure you have a little time to waste because this one’s gonna be a doosey!