A friend of mine here in Barcelona told me about a casting for a cartoon that was going to be dubbed into English. When I eventually calmed down and was peeled off of the ceiling from my excitement, I went to the casting with my friend. It was sooooo cool! Dubbing is a huge business here in Spain – both into Spanish and into English. Apparently, it’s much cheaper to get things translated into English here than it is in the US or England so many companies choose the economical route and get their films, etc. dubbed in Spain. This specific company was the same one that brought us such crap cartoons as Beverly Hills Teen and the like. This project was a cartoon from France that they wanted to release in the US. After an interview with the casting director, I was recommended to read for the lead good-guy, his little good-guy friend, and a couple comic bad-guys (we prefer the term ‘henchmen’). We got to look at pictures of the characters, read a bit of their bios, and had to read a few lines as that character. My reading of the lead guy was alright – nothing great. My reading of the kid was just shit. But the bad guys were tons of fun and I really think I did a good job. I gave one of them a really high screechy voice like a Skekzy from the Dark Crystal. He even had a cool laugh. We swapped spots in the recording booth (my friend and I) so we could prepare our next character and speak with the director. He said he was very impressed with both my voices and my Spanish (in our conversation)! That was awesome!! And then he asked me something that took me a bit by surprise. He asked if I had ever considered dubbing pornos… I blinked a couple times and then said, “Well… I’ve never really thought about it before. But I don’t see why not!” He said that cartoon projects, as cool are they are, were few and far between but the porno industry is gigantic. He then said that he’d give me a call in a couple weeks about the cartoon and if they get another project that they think I’d be appropriate for they’d give me a call. I went home that day with millions of questions swimming through my head and even more anticipation. I told my flat mates what had happened and they all laughed (I guess I would have done the same). I promised them all a copy of my first porno film with my voice on it and even the possibility of a public screening for all my friends. Ha ha ha, right? Well two weeks later a get a call from the studio and they ask me if I can come in to work on a project. I ask, “Is it the cartoon?” They said no, another studio got that contract. This was for a movie that needed to be dubbed. And then they said the words that echoed through my head all that day and wouldn’t let me stop smiling: A PORNO! I thought about if for a minute (actually a split-second) and said, “Great. What time do you need me?” And the rest is history. How amazingly cool! I’m a porn star!!! I only did one movie that day (about four hours work). It was a horrible rip-off of one of Marlene Dietrich’s first movies, The Blue Angel. I was an active member of the student body at a high school. Let’s just say my teachers loved me. Four or five times. The studio is almost definitely going to call me again. The perks are great: I get to meet new and interesting people and laugh at ridiculously stupid movies all at the same time. Plus they pay really well – about $150 per movie (for unknowns like me) but I would have done it just for the experience and the studio-paid lunch. I guess if there had to be a downside it would be that I get a little dizzy when I’m in a really long scene and have to hyper ventilate for a while. I still can’t believe it. What the hell am I doing?!? [this paragraph was not sent to anyone under 18]