It’s Sunday night and my dogs are barkin’. Just got home from our last full-day rehearsal for Picasso. We open on Friday. God help us.

Between Saturday and Sunday, I was in the theatre for a little over 14 hours. We built sets, hung lights, finished costumes, got the sound system working, polished scenes, and ran the whole sucker till she flew like greased lightning. A good night’s sleep has become like an old college friend who I used to meet for a cup of tea and a game of chess on a regular basis but now, because our lives have gone in different directions, we don’t see each other nearly as often as we used to.

I shouldn’t complain too loudly about lack of sleep, though. I went to visit my friend Bob and his newborn son Ian the other day and Bob comprises about one quarter of this blog’s readership. At least I’ve only got two more weeks till this production is over.

So you may be asking yourself: “Hey, Josh… (which is a funny thing to say to yourself) is it all downhill from here?” The answer, my friend, is “not quite”. We still have to finish building the set, paint the bugger, focus all our lights, print the programmes, and then hold our final dress rehearsal this Tuesday night. I’d like to have the set finished before the dress so the actors won’t be completely surprised when they take the stage Friday night.

Everyone has really been putting their all into this one. Especially Ed. He has been a saint these past few days. I tell him what I need built and when I need it by, and then we sweat, cry, curse, and work until we have a fully functioning set that transforms, hinges, and rolls. We even had a doorknob for the first time today!

I’d better hit the sack. I have my first ever singing lesson tomorrow morning. I’ll tell you how it goes.

A wonderfully surreal thing happened to me today. I was on the metro, listening to my mp3 player, on my way to the theatre to build the set for the play and, two stops after I got on, a group of about 10 wily fifteen year olds got on with their teacher. They were apparently coming back from a day at the beach with their class. All the towels and bathing suits gave it away. Anyway, I noticed two of the girls looking at me. I tried not to stare but they kept looking. I sort of smiled and then looked away – trying to let Fatboy Slim win out over my curiosity – and then the girls started giggling. The first thing that entered my mind was: they either think I’m cute or they’re laughing at my hair. Both have happened to me before. I looked back at them and one of them said, “Joshua?” I looked down to see if I had my name on my shirt or something. I didn’t. So I took off my headphones and looked at the two girls… and then I totally recognized them! From an English language theatre summer camp that I helped run a few years ago! I must admit that I couldn’t remember their names, but their faces were very familiar to me (only now three years older). We talked briefly about school, practicing their English, and theatre until I had to get off the metro, but it was lovely seeing them, speaking with them, and being recognized by them after so long. It made my day 🙂

Jan and I are currently rehearsing a play called The Treasure of the Puta Madre for our August production in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It’s a wonderful play written by my friend Christopher Hood, but there are long stretches of narrative in which only one character speaks for sometimes pages at a time. This can provide the other three actors too much time to quietly goof off if you’re not careful. While rummaging around my bookshelf today, I found this scrap of paper with a little doodle that I secretly drew on the back of my script during one of the aforementioned narratives in a juvenile attempt to make Jan laugh. Click the image below to see the whole doodle:

I’m getting stressed again and that damn sty under my eye is back. One week into my “guaranteed three weeks of insanity” and I’m that much closer to insane.

After our Puta Madre rehearsal this afternoon, Jan and I went to Piers and Katherine’s house for the inauguration of their first Barcelona art exhibition. Since they couldn’t find a gallery accepting new artists at the moment, they converted their living room and dining room into a make-shift gallery. And they did a wonderful job! A fresh coat of paint, strategically placed track lighting, and professionally printed descriptions next to each exhibit made for a lovely experience. Oh yeah, the art was nice, too! No offense to Katherine, but I like the pieces that Piers painted best. He mixes marble dust with black paint to achieve a thick, oily substance and then he paints long steady strokes across a sky blue background with a wide brush leaving deep grooves across the canvas. The result is reminiscent of a twisted vinyl record. Very nice.

Here’s where the trouble began. I thought it would be nice if we went to the art exhibition and then to a bar in the center of town called Sidecar to listen to my friend Sarah play a concert. Jan correctly pointed out that I had been very busy and stressed lately and could probably use a quiet night at home. I agreed. Jan also pointed out that she was very hungry and, if we didn’t stay too long at the exhibition, we could get some dinner and relax at home. Unfortunately we stayed at the art show a little too long and Jan, as she does when she’s not fed on time, started to get upset. I should have seen the warning signs when we started arguing about where the nearest curry house was. We joined forces with Chris, Ewan, and Montsey and went to eat.

On the way to the restaurant, Jan pointed out how inconsiderate I had been for faffing around instead of making a move for some food (as we had agreed). I apologized profusely in a vain attempt to extinguish the flames. We got to the restaurant and Jan couldn’t even sit down to look at the menu – she had to go next door to the supermarket to get a banana. When she got back, I was a jerk. I must have made some of my famous insensitive “jokes” and offended her. I didn’t realize it at the time. I just thought I wasn’t being funny – as usual.

All seemed well throughout the meal. Jan ate quietly and everyone enjoyed their curry. Thumbs up for the food! We paid the bill and said goodbye to our friends and walked to the metro… and all hell broke loose. A barrage of criticism showered over me and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I tried to talk rationally and apologize again but nothing helped. These thoughts had been stirring in her head for the past hour and they wanted out. Frustration mounted. I was on my way home to relax and all I was getting was grief! Instead of putting my first through a storefront window, I said that I wasn’t able to deal with her at that moment and veered left away from the metro. Jan went home and I went to Sidecar to Sarah’s concert – but not before I left Jan an angry venting message on her answering machine.

At the gig, more than one person asked, “Where’s Jan tonight?” and I automatically shifted into lie-mode with, “Oh, she’s tired and went home. We have a long rehearsal tomorrow.” That last part was true: we do have a long rehearsal tomorrow and I needed to prepare for it. Instead I was in a really loud and smoky bar trying to smile. I don’t know if it was the smoke or the music, but I had to leave by 1am. On the way home, I received both a text message and a voice mail message from Jan. One was filled with accusations and one with apologies – I don’t know which was sent first. I couldn’t enter the closed bedroom door when I got home. Instead I’m here wasting time on the computer, writing biased accounts of personal events and not getting some much needed sleep. I don’t imagine that sty will have disappeared before morning.

Since that damn home-cloning machine is on the fritz again, when Jan and I were invited to two different birthday parties on the same day, we decided to split them up: Jan went to Nelson’s Terrace Extravaganza and I went to Ed’s Mammoth Picnic.

You remember Ed, don’t you? The really tall Dutch guy who magically builds the sets for all of the plays that I direct? Well… every year, Ed invites all of his friends to meet by the life-size mammoth statue in el Parc de la Ciutadella for a birthday picnic.

The sun was shining, birds were singing, children laughing, and guitars strumming. It had been nearly a year since I had set foot in the Parc and I had almost forgotten what an amazing green oasis it was. So many people strolling, jogging, talking, playing, singing, dancing – all with their own stories to tell.

I spent most of the picnic with Derek, Stephan and Sophie and her three week old daughter Marina. Stretched out under the sun on a giant blanket just behind the mammoth, we ate good food and drank good drink.

After a long day of Picasso rehearsals, I was tired. I left the picnic early to escort Sophie home. She invited me over for dinner, which was lovely. Even lovelier was the chance to catch up with Sophie since I hadn’t seen her all that often lately, what with Marina taking up most of her time and all.

I got home around 11pm and plugged myself into the computer for a few hours until Jan came stumbling home at around 2am. Though not as eloquent as usual, I got the impression that she had a nice time at her party, as well. She tried emphatically to describe all of the little anecdotes from the Terrace Extravaganza so I tucked her into bed and wished her sweet dreams. The next day was a holiday and neither of us had to work.

Boy o boy, that felt good! I just spent the last three hours replying to all of the email that had been piling up in my inbox over the past couple months. I can be pretty crap sometimes. So if you sent me an email and you’re still waiting to hear back from me, would you be so kind as to send me another one because that nasty little email-gremlin must have eaten it.

It feels like it’s all coming to a head and will soon be over, but I have a bad feeling that the light that I can see at the end of this tunnel might just be a train.

Sets need to be built and publicity has to be created NOW for Picasso because we open in only three weeks. Press releases need to be sent to the media in Edinburgh for our appearance in this summer’s Fringe Festival. Two different web sites that I’ve been sacrificing sleep for need to go public next week. Oh yeah, and then there’s that whole wedding thing that we’re planning. I have to find a suit and send out invitations for our big day which suddenly appears to be only two months away!

What’ve we got? Three weeks of guaranteed insanity, followed by a much needed two week lull, then a mad rush towards the wedding, only to be followed five days later by a month-long working holiday in Scotland performing every day in August! We’re hoping to relax sometime in September.

As the school year ends, so do our children’s theatre gigs (and a substantial source of my income). We had our last shows of the year today and we did it in style.

We normally average one show a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Every once and a while we do two in one day. Today we did three – all before lunch!

Jan, Julian and I sleepily traveled out to Terrassa at 8am this morning to give three command performances of Fruity Tots – our “smile till it hurts” show geared towards the “5 and under” crowd. It consists of fan favorites such as “The Wheels on the Bus”, “She’ll Be Comin’ Round The Mountain”, and “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” all tied together with a loose plot. We all take turns playing “the stupid one” – the kids seem to like that. After 45 minutes, if they’re not crying or screaming for their moms, the kids are usually standing in the aisles cheering for more.

I brought my camera with me to the school with hopes of shooting some colorful pictures for the blog, but with only five minutes between shows, things were a little too hectic to worry about snapshots.

Summer vacation will leave a noticeable dent in my wallet, but I’m overjoyed at the idea of not singing nursery rhymes, fighting for kid’s attention, dressing up in a sweaty monkey suit, or screaming over the noisy throngs until September.

I’m very tired today. Jan is afraid to talk to me. I may come back with any nonsequeter or… some other thing. I’m a bit loopy.

I went out last night. And, as is all too common here in Spain, Saturday night quickly turned into Sunday morning. Jan says I got home at 5:38am. I think she clocked me sometime between when I woke her up and when she exclaimed, “Christ, Josh!”.

Last night was Sergio’s birthday party. I met Sergio about five years ago playing volleyball on the beach here in Barcelona and we now play on the same indoor team in Vall d’Hebron. So the guests of the aforementioned party were mainly volleyball folk.

20 of us met up in front of the El Corte Inglés in Fransesc Macia at 10:30 last night, went out for an all-you-can-eat Japanese buffet (with the obligatory sake shots), followed up at a nearby bar (where I began my night’s obsession with Red Bull & Valentine’s), and then finished up at a disco called The Tunnel at around 1:30am. We danced our pants off in a steamy, grinding mass till about 5am when I was one of the first to admit defeat and walked home.

The smart thing would have been to go to bed right away. But if you’re reading this post, you probably know me better than that. I futzed around the house and on the computer before taking a much needed shower and was under the covers, completely wrecked, by 6:45am. Sleeping until 3pm would have recharged my battery perfectly, but the alarm clock going off beside my head at 10am made sure that didn’t happen. We had a brunch to attend at Rachel and Jonathan’s house.

Jan and I hopped on the metro and went downtown. I don’t think I opened my eyes until Rachel opened the door to let us in. It looked like I was doomed. But through some endorphin-powered miracle, I was not only coherent, but cracking jokes right and left! The life of the brunch, if I do say so myself. Either that, or I was so delirious that I only thought I was being witty and everyone else was being polite. I’m happy not knowing the truth. I’m sure I ‘ll find out sooner or later.

It’s 4:30pm now and we just got home. I’m slowly crashing and Jan is still avoiding me. I think I should take a nap now.

Things currently on my mind (AKA The Obsession List):

• Picasso at the Lapin Agile
  • schedule individual rehearsals with three actors
  • design a poster
  • design fliers
  • build sets
  • finish directing the last four weeks of rehearsals
  • make it good
• The Treasure of the Puta Madre
  • create a press release for the Edinburgh Fringe Office
  • find a press photo
  • create a web site for the company
  • re-edit the sound effects
  • rehearse the show (AKA make it good)
• The Wedding
  • chase up all the dead-beats who haven’t responded to our invite
  • plan the dinner menu
  • find a (good) suit
• complete all pending web design jobs
• update my blog
• relax so that sty under my eye goes away – for good!