I am the supreme ruler of the Universe! Bow down before Zod!

Uh… (clears throat), excuse me. Don’t know what came over me there.

Q: So, how does it feel to win the championship of the BCN Dynasty 2005 baseball league?

A: Well, I gotta tell ya, it feels pretty damn good. Clay, besides being a stand-up Commish (most of the time), put up one hell of a fight in the finals. I didn’t think I had a snowball’s chance in hell until just a few days ago. The suspense was killer. But it feels mighty good to come out on top of such a strong league. My favorite part, of course, was the pulverizing of Clay in the finals – my rival, my Commish, my friend.

Q: What was the secret to your success?

A: Well, I gotta tell ya, it had to be my pitching staff. Once I decided to give up completely on my offense, I was able to concentrate on my defense. That made all the difference. I horded saves and holds like a squirrel getting ready for winter. Plus, my skills as a seasoned mathematician came in handy, I can tell you. Even if he had beat me in WHIP and tied up the series, I would have still come out on top thanks to my ERA. I knew it all along.

Q: And your team?

A: Well, I gotta tell ya, my boys did me proud. If you don’t mind, I’d like to hand out a few awards right now:

MVP: Derrek Lee
Cy Young: Roy Oswalt
Gold Glove: Iván Rodríguez
Rolaids Relief Man of the Year: Joe Nathan
Manager of the Year Award: Me

We here in the front office are very much looking forward to continuing our dynasty next year with with the continued sensational efforts of Derrek, Roy, Miguel Tejada, and Carl Crawford. We’re also counting on both Carlos Beltrán and Curt Schilling to step it up a notch like we know they’re capable of doing.

Thanks, Mom